You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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