What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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