please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
