areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
