This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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