i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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