Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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