Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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