It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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