first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
