So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
