his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
