Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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