So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's always time for handjobs
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
