well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
