How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
