what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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