Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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