I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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