i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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