I'm gonna have a badass scar
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
