Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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