i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
