i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
