I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
