Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
