That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
