just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
