Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
its liver damage thursday
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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