ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
