Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
