Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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