What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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