well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize