Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
