i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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