i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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