the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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