I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Welp...herpes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
