Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
