He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
