I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
