He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need a beard to bite.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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