The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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