just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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