**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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