Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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