guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
