so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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