He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
