His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
