if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
